"I’m not okay, I promise."
How the hell do people make it through this.
How the hell do you let go, and move on.
How do you put action where your words have been?
How do you put back together your relationships with your friends when you’ve been self absorbed?
How do you apologize and it be meaningful anymore?
I’ve dug myself into a hole and I feel the need to literally run until I pass out.
I have so much pent up energy that if I get tipped any further I’ll explode in the wrong way.
I can’t focus. I feel nauseated. I want to destroy my body. I want to rip my guts out and lay them on the floor and say look at this shit, look at all the parts of me I covered in greed, and the need to bring others down, even though I wanted the exact opposite.
How can I face the people I care about and say “because I love you, and hate myself, here’s what I’ve done, I fucked up, and I don’t deserve you.”